In Pieces
by simplynotmyselff
Summary: It's Jeff's turn to drop his daughter off at his ex-husband. What seems to be a normal rainy Sunday, becomes a ride down memory lane for Jeff. All he wants is Nick back as his boyfriend, husband even. If that could only happen, Jeff wished.


Jeff slightly lowered the breaks, letting the car roll out to a stop. The red light flashing in his face. He was quiet, the only sound in the car coming from the radio and his daughter singing along in the backseat. The rearview mirror showed Jeff's eyes, brown, dark, sad. Nothing new. Jeff's eyes mirrored emptiness.

The green light caught his eye. The car sped off, turning the corner as Jeff turned the steering wheel with a controllable force. The girl in the backseat squealed as she felt the force of the car turning and fell to the opposite side. "Papa!"

Jeff didn't react. His eyes only found his daughter's in the mirror, signing her that he had heard her, but no response formed by words. Alishia didn't need words. She knew her father wasn't much of a talker. She knew he loved her more than anything, but the words were never spoken out loud. It's how she grew up.

Jeff turned on the window screen wipers, revealing his sight on the road again. There weren't many cars on the road. It was a quiet Sunday evening. The sun hadn't set yet, but the sky was clouded, turning the world grey.

Jeff reached for the entertainment system, touching a few buttons on the touch screen before the radio stopped playing. Waiting signal. _Once, twice._ By the third time there was a voice filling the car. "Nick."

"Hi, daddy!" Alishia yelled from the backseat. A chuckle was heard from the speakers, followed by a "Hey girl. How are you?"

"Fine!" the girl immediately replied. Jeff smiled slightly, it was a sad smile. His girl was fond of her dad, he was the fun one. _Funny_, Jeff reminded himself. Everyone had always thought that he would be the fun parent. "Nick..."

_Silence. _

Jeff's insides felt like being shaken in a blender. This happened a lot. He pushed the feeling away, locking it up in a box somewhere in the far back of his mind. "I'm on my way."

"Good, I'll see you soon. Bye baby." Jeff flinched, knowing it wasn't directed towards him.

"Bye daddy!" call disconnected.

The man held on tight to the steering wheel. His muscles flexed in an unease, stressed way. "Papa, we should hurry." Alishia's voice called out. And while Jeff shook his head, he replied; "No, Ash, I can't. It's mad weather and papa has to be careful."

He caught the girl nodding her head and going back to the karaoke with the radio. Missing out on her father brushing away a lost tear that ran down his face.

* * *

"You hang up."

"No, you hang up this time. I did it last time."

"No you didn't. You hang up."

"Alright fine. I love you."

"I'll see you soon. Bye baby."

"Bye." Jeff pressed 'end call' and sighed a dreamy sigh. For a minute he was out, until he turned to his friends who all gave him the same look. Disgust, in a happy way.

"What?" Jeff blurred out, shaking out of his daze.

"You two are impossible!" Sebastian called out. Sebastian was one of Jeff's best friends.

Jeff shook his head in disbelieve. "Shut up! I still wonder why I ever made you my best man?"

Sebastian raised his eyebrows, looking at Jeff as if the answer to that question was more logical than one plus one equals two. "Because I'm _awesome_." the boy stated. Jeff waved him off, his eyes catching the glimpse of silver metal that lingered on his finger. With a smile on his lips, he brought his hand closer to admire the ring, his ticket to forever.

* * *

Jeff violently rubbed his hand over his face, getting rid of all the tears and emotions. There was no room for them. Not now, not ever. The windscreen wipers had a hypnotizing effect on Jeff. They went from left to right, left to right, left to right. "Papa!" and he snapped out.

The man replied to his daughter with a soft hum.

As he looked at Alishia, he noticed her pointing towards something on the windscreen. The glimpse of silver metal.

The ring.

Jeff had many times tried to ripped it off. Attempted to pull aside a highway and just throw it in the open air. Getting rid of it. Getting rid of all the memories it held.

But he couldn't.

He never had the strength to do it. It was a curse and a blessing. It was his'.

Jeff turned off the road, hearing his daughter cheer silently. She knew all too well which street Jeff just turned in to.

* * *

"Are you serious? Nick, these houses cost a fortune. We cannot... no, don't give me that look Nick!" Jeff quickly turned his head to observe the street. "Nick, babe, we can't afford this, you know."

The sudden movement of Nick's hand startled Jeff but he relaxed as soon as he felt their fingers inner twine. He looked up to see his husband smile, eyes still on the road but a bright sparkle clear in his brown eyes.

"Look." Nick said softly as he nodded towards an empty house. The car slowed as Nick parked it next to the sidewalk. He unbuckled his belt and assured his husband to do the same before he exited the car. "Wanna go check it out?"

Jeff nodded and followed suit. The two boys went stepped inside the house, the feeling of home, immediately warming them. "I like it." Jeff said, more to himself than anyone else. He felt his husband's arms wrap around his waist and leaned back into the touch. "But—" he couldn't speak more, because Nick had already caught him off.

"We don't have the money, I know. Someday."

"Someday." Jeff agreed.

* * *

Jeff pulled into the driveway of Nick's house. He turned the windscreen wipers off, turned down the radio and dimmed the headlights, before he cut off the engine. He collected his belongings that were spread all over the passenger seat. Phone, leather jacket, wallet. He wrapped the jacket around himself, struggling to get his arms into the pipes.

Meanwhile his daughter was moving two times faster and had already pulled her My Little Pony backpack on her back. Her legs swung lightly from left to right as she waited for her father to hurry up, and open the door.

Jeff shot a glance at the weather. Rain. He sighed and opened the door, running to the other side to let his daughter out. He grabbed her overnight bag from the backseat and ran after her towards the door that opened as soon as Alishia reached it.

"Daddy!" the girl squealed.

With a massive grin, Nick picked up his daughter and hugged her. "There's my baby. Come inside, it's mad weather." Alishia ran inside as soon as her feet hit the ground, leaving her parents at the door.

Jeff slammed the door of his car shut and ran up to the door, handing Nick the bag. "Hey." He whispered so softly it could have gone missing in the rain. With a nod towards Jeff, Nick took the back. "Hey."

And that's how it went. No small talks, just a greeting – which, in some occasions, didn't even reached the surface – and they would separate again. And again.

Jeff stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Fixing his wet hair with a wasted hair flip. His platinum blond hair was soaked, the colour turning much darker by the rain. He looked awful.

Soaked. Cold. Broken. Nothing was left of Jeff, the Jeff Nick fell in love with. The Jeff that would stalk him all day with text messages that explained his love for Nick.

* * *

Nick sat down at his desk, lifting up papers here and there, searching. The lifting increased in throwing and soon enough Nick's paperwork went flying through the air. He couldn't find his phone.

"Nicholas! Have you lost it?" Nick didn't look up. Blaine could wait, instead he forced open a drawer. Nothing. He forced another drawer open, still nothing. He went for the third but it appeared locked. With a groan, Nick gave up and looked up at Blaine who had a rather amused smile on his face.

"What?" Nick spat out. He glared at his co-worker who walked back to his desk, picking up something that looked awfully familiar to Nick. Blaine walked back with Nick's phone in his hand, asking; "Looking for this?"

Nick leaned up to snatch it out of Blaine's hand, but the older man wouldn't have it. Instead, he moved backwards, opening Nick's messages and reading them out loud, for the entire floor to hear.

"_Baby, how's work? I miss you. X" _

Nick jumped out of his chair when he realized where Blaine was heading at. "Blaine!"

"_Nicky, you have to cheer me up when you get home! Lame-ass-boss-man. X" _

"Blaine!" Nick yelled again, reaching for his phone, but he was too slow again.

"_Ok, why are you ignoring me? We can just go out if you want? I can call Ash's babysitter? NO funny business? X" _

"_Nicholas Sterling, why are you not replying? X" _

"_Nick, Nick, Nick. I love you. X" _

"_Ok, Nick if you won't reply I'll send you something you can't resist. X" _

"_FINE! You asked for it! X" _

"Blaine, give me the phone god damn it!" Nick tackled Blaine to the ground, wrestling him for his phone, which in the end, he got back. Both men got up and straighten themselves out before Nick started yelling at Blaine again. "Why are you going through my messages?"

Blaine held up his hands in a defensive gesture and backed out of Nick's personal space. "It kept going off, and you weren't here so I took a look to see if you weren't missing something important." He pointed to the phone with a smug look on his face. "I guess you were. "

Blaine ducked Nick's fist with a chuckle before he went back to his own desk. All Nick could do was roll his eyes, a smile creeping on his face when he read over his missed texts.

* * *

He missed the Jeff that would drag himself out of bed at five in the morning when Alishia would cry. The Jeff that gave up everything to spend every giving minute with their precious daughter. The Jeff that wouldn't put work over his family.

Nick sighed soundless. He was torn between letting Jeff inside and letting him stay outside. That last one, would be cruel because it was raining and the temperature was dropping fast. The first one, though, would be more than just awkward because the two haven't properly spoken to each other since the divorce.

And so they stood there.

* * *

"Daddy!" Alishia cried out, clinging to her father. Nick unzipped his jacket, pulling his three-year-old daughter a little closer in his arms and covering her with his jacket so she was shielded in her father's embrace. Shielded for the bad weather. "It'll be ok."

It hadn't been this bad in years, Nick remembered. The last time he had been in a storm like this he was at home, with Jeff. They were seven and had build a fort of cushions, blankets and chairs.

Nick sighed at the thoughts, blind typing a number on the wet touch screen of his phone, before lifting it to his ear. He trembled slightly from the cold, pulling his daughter just a little closer. Force of habit. "Jeff."

"Jeff!" Nick called out desperately. "Where the hell are you?"

"What are you talking about?" Nick heard someone in the background call out "Starting in two, again." And that answered Nick's question. Jeff was at work, still.

"Nothing." It was barely a whisper that Nick let out. Nick was angry, but more than that, he was hurt. How could Jeff do this? Again?

"I'm at work... What's wrong?"

And that was _it_ for Nick. He let out a deep sigh, tears filling his eyes. "Jeff, listen to me..." Nick's voice was shaking as he rested his head against the wall of the closed bus station. "...Your bags will be packed when you get home. We're..." Nick choked in a sob he tried to repress. His eyes shifted to his daughter that was shaking from the cold in his arms.

Jeff was supposed to pick them up. They were supposed to go out for dinner, _finally_. It was the first time, in a long time, that Jeff had actually made plans to go out with the family. And he blew it. Two hours ago, Jeff texted Nick to meet him at the restaurant. One hour ago, Jeff texted Nick he wasn't going to make it, and not to wait up for him.

Nick, by then, hadn't realized it was storming outside. And by the time he reached the bus station, it had closed, leaving Nick with Alishia in his arms in the pouring rain. They couldn't walk home. Nick couldn't carry his daughter all the way, and she couldn't walk all those miles by herself, she could barely walk anyway. They couldn't call a cab, because Nick had no money with him. Jeff had promised him he would pay for dinner. They had no family or friends that lived close enough, to pick them up and drive them home safely.

That left them there, hungry, in the pouring rain, freezing. And Nick had enough. Enough of Jeff's behavior. He wasn't the Jeff Nick had married, he was... just not Jeff anymore.

"We are over." Nick finished, letting the tears stream down his face. His daughter wouldn't know the difference between the tears and the rain anyway. "What? Nick! What are you talking about? NICK! Talk to me! Don't do this, Nick, babe, talk to me..."

Nick ended the call, pulling up the hood of his jacket over his head and stepping out from the little roof they hid under for the last half hour.

Nick walked home, Alishia in his arms. It took him an hour and a half, and by the time Nick had reached his bathroom, he was exhausted, soaked, and hurt. He locked himself up for at least an hour, spending half of that hour under the warm spray of water. The other half, was spend on tears. Tears that never stopped falling. Not when he packed Jeff's suitcases.

Not when his husband came home and begged him for forgiveness.

Not when he gave Jeff his ring.

And not when Jeff closed the door behind him.

* * *

Nick never forgot the pain. The nightmares that haunted him for so long. The never ending sadness.

But when Nick looked into Jeff's eyes, he saw the exact same pain. The hurt, and the sorrow. The self hate and disgust for his actions. He saw the Jeff he knew. The boy he fell in love with all those years ago.

The rain had calmed down, but it went unnoticed.

"DADDY! PAPA!" Both men turned immediately to look at their daughter, holding up a drawing she drew at Jeff's place and stuffed in her backpack before her father could see it. Nick took it in his hands. "What is it darling?"

Jeff watched the two interact from the sideline. It felt as if he was invading a moment that wasn't allowed for his eyes to see. He saw Nick's face turn blank, a painted smile on his face that didn't reassembled happiness, but something else. Jeff had no idea what it was until his daughter shoved the drawing in his hands.

It was a drawing of Nick and Jeff. Drawn from a photo that Jeff had on his night stand. A photo made eight years ago, at their wedding. It brought back memories for both of them. Memories of why their relationship was perfect. Why their marriage and life were perfect. Before.

The sun broke through the clouds, casting rays of sun on the two men. Nick lifted his eyes to meet Jeff, holding a sparkle that Jeff hadn't seen for too long. "Come in." Nick whispered.

Jeff stared down at Nick, slightly confused. "N-no, I'm fine. I c-can go—" Jeff barely choked out a full sentence when Nick shut him off. "It wasn't a question." Nick stepped aside, inviting Jeff inside. And Jeff did, with a smile. A real smile. And a feeling that Jeff had forgotten in his time alone. He stepped over the barrier and entered Nick's house.

It almost felt as home. Jeff knew they had a long way to go. But he was certain his ticket to forever was closer than expected.

* * *

_I come to you in pieces,_

_so you can make me whole._


End file.
